I'm tired.

Well, I would like to tell everyone that I have it all together all the time. But everyone who knows me well knows I'm a horrible liar, so I won't try to convince you of that first statement. I would like to say tell you that I'm a changed (for the better) woman since Keith's health scare. But I can't say that yet. I feel like I still have a lot to process, but I haven't found the solitude to do that yet. I have struggled with how fast life has gone since Keith being in the hospital. I've had a difficult time finding my groove again as a wife and mom with four young children. I used to just laugh when people would make comments about how hard it must be with four children 5 and under. Now I want to affirm them in their assumption. I'm frustrated with myself because I hate it when I'm overwhelmed. My heart would like to be happy and look at the positive 100% of the time, and it is really aggravating to me when I get too tired to smile. But that's exactly the spot I have found myself in many times lately.

So, this next exercise is really just for me...to remind me of God's sweet faithfulness and graciousness to me.

Thankful for...
1. the peace that I have in walking with the Lord on a daily basis. He is not just someone I sing to on Sundays. He guides my every step and puts joy in my heart. He sustains me...even now in my tiredness.

2. my husband. Did you know that he took me on a date last night and surprised me with diamond stud earrings and a cross necklace? Just because. I can't express in words how much I love this man and thank God for him.

3. my children. Yes, they are mostly the reason why I am so tired, but they are also the reason why I laugh all throughout the day. They have my heart. God uses them all the time to make me more into the woman He wants me to be.

4. my mom and in-laws. Can I just say that we are so blessed to have the parents that we do? I have learned so much about sacrificial love from our parents. They always put family first and that has blessed Keith and I so much. I could not have lived thru the past couple of weeks without their love and support.

5. our church family...could just be the best group of people out there. They have ministered to our family and shown us God's love time and time again. I promise, if you come to our church, you will not want to leave. There is something so special about the people God has put together at our church.

6. friends and neighbors...just wonderful, I tell you. They have also blessed our family so much. We are better people because of the influence you have made on our lives.

Do you see what I'm seeing...none of my material possessions come to mind when I ponder on what I am thankful for. It's all about relationships. Don't get me wrong. I am thankful for the things God has given to us, but I also understand how temporary those things are.

OK, I can go to bed tonight reflecting on God's goodness and not on my weariness :) I told you this exercise was for me. And please don't think of this as "the power of positive thinking." Think of it as seeking to honor God with my thoughts and my attitude. Goodnight.

Here are some long overdue pics of our kids with their family...first off, Brynlee with her Mama E.

...the boys with their granny
the boys with their papa
Brynlee meeting her nanny for the first time (Papa's mom)
Brynlee meeting her mimi for the first time (Mama E.'s mom - 91 years old...I know, she looks incredible for her age)

New Tradition in our home

We started an awesome (maybe a little nerdy) tradition on Election night last week. We took a large wipe-off board that we had purchased at Home Depot and took it up to the office to project an electoral map onto the board. Then, I traced the map in permanent marker, with the state name and number of electoral votes listed on each state. We bought a brand new pack of dry erase markers (I know, you didn't really need to know that) and listed all of the important races to watch throughout the night. We had an Obama column (blue, of course) and a McCain column (red) and kept a running total of the electoral votes they had. We let the kids color in each of the states as they were called. I know our kids are only 5, 3, 2 and 4 mo., but our oldest two really got into it. It drove them crazy that they had to go to bed before all the states had been colored in. And it got them interested in the historic event. We made a fun night of it and let them stay up until they basically asked to go to bed because they were so tired. Now they are excited that there are going to be two kids living in the White House.





We plan on pulling out our nerdy white board for every presidential election in the future :)

Part of obedience is serving...

My mom (aka "granny") has blessed me so much my whole life - but especially since she moved here in May. She has made having four children 5 and under a lot easier than it should be for Keith and I. One of the ways she has blessed us is by having a "sleepover at granny's" on most Friday nights for our boys. They get to stay up late watching movies and Keith and I get to sleep in a little longer and have a sweet time with the Lord where we actually get to be still for more than 5 minutes at a time. So, I am blogging this after I've had one of those precious mornings.

My heart has really been burdened over teaching members of the body of Christ that it is vital to their Christian walk to serve the body. I think our culture is so used to being consumers that we can easily forget that church is not a consumer driven establishment. The church does not exist to make Christians feel better about themselves because they've gone to church one day a week and sang a couple of songs that makes them feel closer to God. It makes my heart sad that we, left alone, all tend to feel like that's good enough for our spiritual life. I think that this is one reason that non-Christians don't see a real need for Christ in their lives. Because for so many believers, having Christ just seems to make a nominal difference in your life. They don't see evidence of the transforming work of Christ in the lives of most Christians they know. They see it as vanity on our part - just trying to do whatever necessary to feel better about ourselves - and going to church really does move us up on the ladder of being better than our neighbor, right ? Please read the sarcasm in that last sentence.

One of the basics that God had in mind when he put the church together was that we learn how to serve each other and that we could see how each part of the body is extremely vital to the functioning of the church. It seems like such an easy command to obey - to serve the body.

Let's look at Eph 4. 11 - 16: "It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we ll reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitfulful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."

It is obvious from this passage that God's people are to serve so that the body of Christ may be built up. When you don't serve, you are keeping others from becoming mature in Christ. And I love the last verse, that the whole body is held together by every supporting ligament, and that we grow as each part does its work.

If you are reading this and you are not serving in your church body, I pray that you will be challenged to step out and obey the Lord's will for you in this area. We always wonder what the Lord's will for us is in certain areas...well this is a clear directive that you don't have to keep pondering...You are called to serve.

And along with this challenge - remember, that serving in Children's ministry is not baby-sitting! And it is very manly. And the excuse "I am not gifted with children," is really only true for a very select few in our society. Most of the time, that is just used because you think of it as baby-sitting and you're right, that is really not a gifting that many of us do have. But if you see Children's ministry as a way to show Christ to our young ones and a way to model for them what being a godly man/woman looks like, then you really have no good excuse for not giving CM a try. I am overwhelmed by the impact that the CM at our church has on all my kids.

Because our church is a church plant, we still only have a select few ministries to be apart of on Sunday mornings. So, that's why I had to include the previous paragraph. Our main ministry focus on Sunday mornings is pouring into our kids and many of our people seem to think it's an easy out for not serving - but remember, you are needed so that our chuch body functions like God intended and so that we may all become mature.

Usually, my postings are all warm and fuzzy, so I'm really curious as to ya'lls thoughts on this posting after you read...

Welcome Home!

Hopefully, most of you know not to wait on me to post news - like an update on Keith's health. I am slow at this blogging thing, that's all there is to it. I have no excuses - except for four children who require A LOT of attention - does that count :)

Keith is doing wonderful. And because he is doing wonderful, I am doing wonderful. I just can't thank the Lord enough for restoring Keith's health. He went for his sleep-deprived EEG yesterday morning and then we met with his neurologist. She took him off the seizure medication because all the tests have officially come back looking good. I wanted to ask her more about the workings of his brain - always been a little curious...but I refrained. I've already teased him so much about what he did when he was in his crazy unconscious state that I thought it bests to leave him alone this time. The neurologist said that though rare, they think he had the grand mal seizure because of the sinus infection. Needless to say, we are going to be seeing an allergist and ENT doctor on a regular basis from now on.

Here are some pics of my awesome hubby at home.


We got home from the hospital around 6:00 on Halloween evening. Our neighbors and our RLG kept up our tradition of providing hot dogs to all our neighbors and trick-or-treaters. So, almost as soon as we arrived home, we had around 50 adults and kids on our front lawn getting ready for the night. One of our sweet neighbors, Judy, made cupcakes for Kade's birthday, assuming that we weren't going to have time to make him a cake - she was right! Kade wouldn't blow out his candles until his daddy came out to watch him.


We have the most awesome neighbors. Our parents and the kids woke up one morning to find this banner hanging on our fence in the backyard. What a fun treat in the midst of trying times. A lot of the kids from the two streets around us painted their handprints on the sign and the adults signed it. It is still hanging up just because it makes us smile. This is the only pic from the week that I took. I couldn't bring myself to take any pics in the hospital. I love this banner because instead of reminding me of the difficulties, it reminds me to be thankful for all the precious people God has richly blessed our lives with. That's what I want to scrapbook about - when I do get a chance to scrapbook :)


Check back on the blog soon. A new tradition was born in our family last night and I can't wait to share it with all of you. Maybe some of you will want to be a family of nerds like us...I'll try to post it tomorrow. But you know how that goes...

The blessing of life

I don't have long to make a posting. But I just want to say thank you to all of you who have prayed for us and loved on us during this time. God has been so good to give us peace in the midst of confusing times. I have seen His hand on the whole situation since the seizure occurred early Sunday morning. I know that God, in His sovereignty, could have chosen things to go much different, but I just thank Him with all of my heart that He has brought Keith through this so that I get to enjoy more of this life with my wonderful husband. I have wrestled with Him a lot during the past couple of days knowing that I would still have to praise Him even if Keith didn't come out of his unconscious state or if there had been permanent damage to his brain.
But, as of today, it seems that He has graciously chosen to give us the Keith we all know and love back. He is still not all with it, but we are seeing HUGE improvements hour by hour. He doesn't understand why I cry when he says my name or lets me curl up beside him in the bed. He doesn't know that just this time yesterday I was begging God to give me those things again.
Keep praying for us as we still have a lot to process and Keith has a lot of healing to do. We are waiting right now for him to get out of surgery to relieve the sinus pressure on his brain that may have caused the seizure in the first place. Pray that we do not lose sight of how God is growing us thru this valley and that we grow in our faith as we remember His faithfulness to us. I have to admit that I have felt very lonely these past couple of days not having my husband to talk to even though the Lord has been so kind to surround me with not only His presence but the presence of many precious family and friends.
Remember to enjoy every minute that God gives you with your family. I want to close by posting some recent pics of moments to savor - like Steven Curtis Chapman's song says, they are "moments made for worshipping."



I love you all and thank God for you!

Brynlee three month photo shoot...

So, I am a little behind in posting these. Brynlee turned three months on October 2nd. We have a sweet friend, Rachel Parkhurst, who is a wonderful photographer. I have tried my hardest to narrow down the pics to my absolute favorites, but there are still quite a few that I want to post.







I did not think that having a daughter would be a big deal to me. I mean, I have loved being a mom to three boys and thought that having another boy would have been awesome. I am the mom that wants to poke people in the eye when they say things like, "Are you hoping for a girl?" or, "Three boys, wow, I'm so sorry!" I have seriously had so many comments like these made to me - with my boys right there listening!! I can't even recount how many times I said during my pregnancy, "I love having boys and would be thrilled if this one is a boy too." But then she arrived. Her first two months were a little rough - her brothers definitely beat her at being easier babies. It doesn't matter though because she's my daughter. Something inside me wants to shout "thank you" to God so many times throughout the day when I look at her or hold her. She adds just the right amount of feminity to our very boyish home. I love the mix of three boys and one girl. I couldn't have planned it better if I had tried - I'm so glad that God's plan always prevails over what I think is best.

Thank you Lord for the gifts of family and life. Thank you for a home that is filled with laughter and sweet memories always in the making. Keith and I just pray that we will be good stewards with the incredible gifts we've been given.

Family Bowling Night

I am trying to figure out how to make a collage of pics for the blog when all the pics are of one event. I am so behind in posting pics from the past couple of weeks - I have pics from when we went to see the grandmothers at the end of last month, recent family pics, family bowling night, trip to Atlanta for the Catalyst conference, Brynlee's three month pictures, pumpkin patch play date and t-ball pics that I so want to share with our friends and family, but I can't seem to find the time to post about them. Plus, I still would like to make use of the Flip video that I recently purchased to be able to provide videos of the kids for the blog. If anyone has a step-by-step process that they use to take pics from Photoshop Elements to their blog in a collage format - PLEASE SHARE! I have to go now to get the kids up for Leadership Community at church tonight or else I would try to figure out how to make my first collage attempt bigger so that you wouldn't have to squint your eyes to see the pics. Sorry!! Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather today!

Brynlee's Baby Dedication

So, I mentioned in my last post about Brynlee having friends and not even knowing how many yet. Here are some pics from her baby dedication yesterday...



There were thirteen babies dedicated on Sunday...is that not awesome???!! All of the staff couples were represented at the dedication...yes, we now have ten kids between the Shocks, Hallams, and ourselves. We are definitely doing our part to grow the church :) Here are a couple of pics from Keirah's 4th birthday that show all ten kids. We are so incredibly blessed!



Our precious neighbors and friends, Mike and Dawn, dedicated both of their sons and Truly, Brynlee's inutero friend, was also dedicated.



After the dedication service, we took Brynlee and Truly to celebrate at Fuddruckers...I don't know if they liked it, but their brothers sure did!


Mike surprised us by showing up at church for Bryn's dedication. We had really been missing him, so it was a treat to get to spend time with him.

Another fun surprise of the day was that our awesome neighbors, Jose and Keri, came to our church. We were so excited to have them at worship with us and then they joined us for the Fuddrucker fun...

Every dad had the opportunity to pray over their child being dedicated. Keith prayed Psalm 139 over Brynlee, that she would always know that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. He also prayed Proverbs 31.30 over her; that she would truly believe that "Charm is deceiving and beauty is fleeting, but the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I so pray that I will live out these Scriptures for her. It is so different having a girl and knowing that I am modeling how to respond to life and to God for this precious little girl. I don't just want to tell her to love God and seek to please Him only...I want to model that for her. I could use all of your prayers in being a godly example for Brynlee.

It was a wonderful day and now we are living out another fast-paced week!

God bless...

Randomness

Brynlee turned three months old today! She has captivated Keith and I. Her smile always starts in her eyes. She looks at you like she has a lot to say to you or either it's the look that says, "you're strange." Either way, it's really cute. She is starting to roll from her tummy to her back - and she gets so mad when she gets stuck on her back. Her smile goes like this: her eyes twinkle, then she gives a little side smile and then a full blown open mouth smile that just lights up the world. She is a drooling machine - you would think she was already teething. She is sleeping 12.5 hours at night and eating 5 times a day. She has found her thumb and uses it to go to sleep every night - following in the footsteps of her brothers, Kamden and Kale. She already has some really good friends and she doesn't even know it yet. We are dedicating her at church on Sunday and I'll post pics afterwards to show you all of her sweet friends that are also being dedicated. She loves her brothers. She is really getting spoiled to their attention. She coos and sighs after she eats - I love it! She is still very dainty and her eyes are still blue. So far, they are looking pretty big, like mine. I am so excited to have a daughter and thank the Lord that Brynlee is a part of our family.






Kade is about to be five at the end of this month. I have to post this so I'll remember - he threw a rock at a car this past Monday at t-ball practice. If only you could have seen mine and Keith's face when we heard the hit...very humbling. After we told the man what had happened and gave him our information, Kade told me that he remembered what color the car was and that he could go buy the paint color at the store and paint the spot he scratched. Oh, thru the eyes of a child. He had no clue why Keith and I were so upset - he just thought it would be a chance to perfect his painting skills. We just had a sweet friend, Rachel Parkhurst, come take some pictures of him to capture this precious age. I've had a couple of friends tell me that this is the perfect time to have portraits done of your children - captures the preschool stage before they start losing their teeth :)


We were all inside yesterday when Kamden just got up and walked out the front door. I went after him to see what was going on and he was by the bushes pulling up his pants. I asked what he was doing and he said, "I had to go pee." ???? Did he forget that we had a room in our house just for that? I mean, I could understand if we were already outside and no bathroom was nearby, but to walk past the bathroom to go find a bush? Yet another humbling parenting moment.



I have more random thoughts that are filling my brain tonight about my precious family and our life, but I'm sure this posting is already a little too long. But I will be so thankful when I get around to scrapbooking these moments to have journaled about them!